So first up, this:
Ariana Grande sneakily released this track over the weekend. Though I’m admittedly not a super fan of Ariana Grande, I decided to take a listen to it. After its release on Saturday night, it generated a wave of tweets, memes, and a lot of reflection from so many people on the internet.
The song, simple in its message, was a love letter not only to herself, but also to people she had dated in the past.
Quite literally, she was thanking all these exes that she had, and in a brilliant move of closure, she was ready for whatever was up next in her life.
This is a pretty big move. It’s a move that I’ve always told myself that I should do. I tell myself that I need to move on because it’s good for me to do so. Holding on to anger is unhealthy and it serves no purpose.
At least, in theory it is.
The reality is that forgiveness is hard. Moving on is hard. When your trust is violated and your pride is wounded, it’s hard.
If there’s one lesson to learn from listening to Ariana Grande’s “thank u, next”, it’s that everything is a gift. It’s just that sometimes we don’t see it that way.
We like to tell ourselves that whoever hurt us is in the wrong as a way to stroke our egos and protect ourselves. And maybe sometimes (most times?), we really were the ones who were wronged or hurt.
It sucks to get hurt!
But getting hurt, in an odd way, is a gift.
I’ll admit that this ‘gift’ has a weird way of manifesting itself. Many times, we don’t see the benefits or the goodness of these gifts until weeks, months, maybe even years later.
Being able to truly move on is also a gift. When I saw move on, I mean it in the real way. Not the fake, “I don’t care about that person” move on, or the “they need to suffer the same way I did” move on. Because that’s petty (and also what I used to be really, really good at, unfortunately).
Regardless of what type of moving on this Ariana Grande song is (though I suspect that she’s legitimate in her claims here), it was a wake up call for me to get over myself as much as getting over other guys.
I never saw getting hurt as a gift. If anything, I would chalk it up to insensitive people or my own incapability to love. But as one friend put it to me the other day, our hurts make us human. It sucks to get hurt, but it helps us grow and teaches us new lessons. And we know from experience that sometimes the greatest lessons are sometimes the hardest ones to take.
So to every person I’ve had a history with, thank you. Seriously.