Here’s a thought: You can lift, but I’m not impressed

I recently started going back to the gym after about a month and a half away. Terrible, I know! But that is what school (and a lack of willpower) does to you. Thankfully I am back and I am going to try to make it a regular and ongoing thing.

Growing up, I was never really an active kid. I played team sports for a bit but always detested gym class, in part because I was never really “good” at anything but also because I had a lot of body insecurities. I feel that I have come a long way from where I was, and I have become comfortable enough in my own skin to go and be myself at a co-ed gym.

To be honest, it hasn’t been bad at all. In fact, it has been really good. I knew that I was just there for me – not anyone else – and keeping that in mind helped me to focus on what I wanted to do and not feel insecure. I would go make up free in clothes that worked for me without even thinking about how I looked.

From time to time, there would be a couple of guys at the gym showing off and hitting on other girls, myself included.  As I worked at the bench or ran on the treadmill, I would see these guys lurking around, talking to girls in between their reps, and conferring in their little group.

As I was working on my cardio today, one of the guys came up to ask me if I would like to watch him bench press. I believe he specifically asked me to spot him before asking if I wanted to go out some time. While the sentiment is flattering, even in my sweaty state, the reality is that I’m not interested in how much you can lift or how big you are getting. And I’m not trying to speak for other girls, but I don’t think any of the other girls at the gym are either.

Just some thoughts that came out of my recent trips to the gym:

  1. I’m going to give you benefit of the doubt here: you might actually be looking for love at the gym. It probably has happened before. And I get it, it’s scary to put yourself out there and talk to people – I totally feel that. But a tip that I have to any guy trying to talk to a girl, at the gym or otherwise, would be to refrain from starting off with “Hey, you have a nice rack, wanna spot me while I bench press?” or anything of that nature.

  2. A “compliment” (?????????????) that is so forthright probably will end up making the other party really uncomfortable. While I say that I didn’t make time for the gym, one of the other reasons keeping me away was the fact that I had been approached by guys that made “compliments” like that. For first time conversation with anyone, it might be best to stay away first from anything of that nature.

  3. Usually a simple “Hey, how’s it going?” goes a long way when it comes to striking up conversation, and it usually is very versatile and works pretty much anywhere. Have faith in yourself that if the other person wants to talk, they will talk. You don’t need to rely on your physical attributes, and this goes for both guys and girls!


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