The fact that we aren’t able to see into the future is what makes life so crazy.
We can only see the here and now, and we can only dream about the future. We have our great expectations, our dreams and hopes, but nothing is ever concrete until we actually make it into the future.
There are some things in life that we want so badly at the time, that sometimes the time will come and we realize that we’ve grown and changed, and we don’t need those things anymore. But other times, there are things in our life that we set as a goal for ourselves to achieve.
For my academic career, it was a very specific and prestigious internship.
Once I transferred into Communication at SFU and started in their Co-op program, I was told about the CBC Radio Peter Gzowski internship.
It’s highly coveted and highly competitive, and each year one SFU student (along with three others from three different universities) have the opportunity to work at CBC Radio as a Gzowski Intern.
I had my eye on this internship, but I was unsure about applying because I had no experience on radio at the time and that it would be so competitive that I wouldn’t get in. At the time, it seemed too complicated, too competitive, and way out of my skill set.
But having grown up a bit with two co-op terms behind me and some time in radio, this year I decided to apply. As a student seeking for a co-op placement, I had applied to a bunch of jobs including this internship.
I had interviews for other jobs, and I felt confident with those. I felt inspired by the role and was excited by the interview and start working there.
When I found out that I had been shortlisted for an interview with the CBC, I was stunned and excited.
That interview went well, but I couldn’t help but feel like I didn’t stand a chance. I anxiously waited to hear back, and this is where we really begin.
A week prior to my interview with the CBC, I had an interview with another organization.
I left that interview feeling pumped up and excited, and I was confident in how I performed.
But one week passed, and then another, and I still hadn’t heard from anyone about the job. I began to question my ability and the interview. I thought it went well, but maybe it didn’t.
From start to finish, the interviews and the waiting took about three and a half weeks. Out of desperation, I went to the Co-op office one morning to see if they had heard anything about the job I was so excited for.
I was informed by one of the advisors that they had filled all the positions they were hiring for, and that the competition had closed a while back.
I would be lying if I said that I was fine with it, because I wasn’t. I wasn’t happy with how things were going, but more than that, I wasn’t happy with myself or with God. For a brief moment, I questioned where He was. He knew, as much as everyone around me, that I was looking for a job this summer. Why couldn’t He have gotten me this?
But He knew. And He delivered.
After sulking for a bit (okay, a long time), I decided to get some work done.
I started searching for new jobs and began to write cover letters. I was sitting in Starbucks with a friend, and after talking for a bit, I was determined to land something exciting.
In the midst of my writing, I checked my email and got the best email of this year (so far): I was selected to work at the CBC as the Gzowski Intern!
I nearly screamed, and in that moment of pure joy, I realized that my perceived “absence” of God was false. He wasn’t absent at all; in fact, He is always present.
It’s like when your best friend is hosting a surprise party for you. They know all the behind-the-scenes and the plans, but around you they act all normal and innocent. You start to question why everyone is acting kind of normal, but kind of not, and it all makes sense when you walk into a dark room and suddenly, all your friends appear out of nowhere.
This was God’s surprise and gift for me. He took away something in order to give me something greater, something He knew that I worked hard to get, and something that will help me draw closer to Him.
It’s a very minor incident with a huge reminder: God never fails, and His love never fails. He never fails to surprise us. We just have to trust in Him.
I’ll close with some wisdom from a homily that I heard at first Friday mass the other evening: As kids, everything around us amazes us. We’re filled with a sense of wonder and awe. But as we get older, we start to lose that to the every day, the mundane, and the tragedies that we see in our lives. God’s love is greater than all of this, and even in the small things, He shows us that He loves us. It’s evident in the nature around us, in how complex our bodies our, and in how much we’re able to do in a day.
This incident and gift that God gave to me is a reminder of that: to never lose wonder, and to always trust that He has something greater in store.
Now that my semester is coming to a close, I will have more time to write and I’ll definitely be writing about this experience! Be sure to follow along right here on the blog!