To every person that I have, and have had, the privilege to call a friend – I love you.
In the purest form of this three-letter phrase, I truly do love you and I am rooting for you, no matter where you might be in your life and no matter what goals and ambitions you may have for your future.
On February 2, my Facebook timeline gave me this greeting of “Happy Friends Day”. I don’t think this is a real holiday by any means, and the communication student inside of me did a little investigating and it might not really be about friends after all. But I digress, because fake holiday or not, it did allow me to reflect on friendship, my own friends of the present and the past, and how these relationships have come to make up who I am.
It’s easy for me to love the friends that I have now. The best kinds of friends are the ones that I can just pick up conversation with any time, anywhere, about anything. There is no preparation needed: I can be as organic as I want, I can be free and I can be myself. There is no hiding and there’s no faking. Even after being apart for weeks and on occasion months, we are able to start-up again as if there was no lapse of time where we were separated. Physical distance might have kept us apart, but it is the bond and the love for each other that has kept us together.
What I have struggled with constantly are the friends that once were. As we grow up, we grow with some friends but grow apart from others. I spent a lot of time beating myself up for that fact, particularly in the case of friendships with girls that I used to be inseparable from in high school, so inseparable that we were always considered one in the same person. Now, these relationships have run dry and conversations are awkward. We went from having everything in common to nothing to share at all. My emotions would run from despair that there was this loss of friendship in my life, to anger at the fact that these friends decided to shut me out of their lives without any semblance of a good-bye.
But in this struggle comes the beauty with friendship – it’s a constant flow that never stops at all. Your friendship with people is by no means static; rather, it moves with you through all stages of life. Your love and friendship isn’t meant to just be for one person – we are called to love everyone and be a friend to all.
It kills me sometimes to see friends that I once knew so well become people who I barely recognize. In the midst of our busy lives and seemingly out of sync schedules, one thing remains: I still love you, whoever you are, wherever you are.
We might have talked yesterday, or we might have talked two years ago or more. But even if it was the latter and even if you think I might not care, the reality is I do. If I can grow apart from people, then the reverse must be true: you might have grown apart from me. It is a simple and natural part of life, something that can’t be prevented or stopped. Because real friendship – real love – is organic. It just happens, without effort or trying. And in the same way, some friendships will naturally fade into the background where others rise to the top.
But just because a friendship has faded does not necessarily mean that it has died. In this way, know that I am here for you always. There was a point in time where we shared a bond of friendship, a bond that I still honour to this day and a bond that I don’t regret making. We might not be talking as often as we used to be, sharing ambitions, style tips and romantic stories with each other, but I’m still here for you.
If you need a friend, I’m here for that. Until then, know that I love you and that I am rooting for you. Take all the time you need and I will see you soon.
(Lead photo from Pintrest)