18

the bridge between adulthood and childhood

i’ve made it here

despite the amount of times i thought of leaving it all behind

giving it all up

for shortcuts

i lost all my trust

in life, love, humanity and myself

but here i am, 18 years later

a rather daunting number

just another day

waking up in the same bed, getting down on the same knees to pray

that tomorrow will be better

that i will survive today

that i can make up for yesterday

what mistakes did i make

when i should have figured out the answers long time ago

and not screw up again and again

the friends that i made and the ones that i have lost

the loves that have captured my heart

the relationships that were forced to restart

because of me

because of you

because of us

i learned after 18 years

that it’s okay to be unsure of the future

that sometimes, things aren’t worth fighting for

and when they are

that’s when you put 110% into what you do

sometimes people will weigh you down

but in the end

who is there to stick around but yourself

be true to who you are

don’t change yourself for one person who won’t be there for you in the future

but if you change yourself

you will lose yourself

in the faces and the lies

do not despise

who you are

just because you don’t look like the people in the magazines

it’s a struggle

everyday there are new challenges

new ways to tempt yourself into being someone different

because it is so much easier to pretend

but the real test comes when you stay true

be you

you have been this way for 18 years

never lose sight of that

here’s to many more years

and to all the friendships, challenges and heartbreak

they will hurt you

they may shake you

but they can never break you

©2019 Rachel Wong.